starting a business – Change is Inevitable, Growth is Optional

How High Are Your Standards?

I always have interesting conversations and incredible people watching episodes when I’m at the airport. I listen and observe, I engage and I observe some more. At one airport, I was waiting for a flight and we were delayed so many times that it was almost a game to see when the app and the actual board in front of us would match as to the newest departure time. There was a woman standing next to me. She was well-dressed and was friendly enough. We were sharing some travel stories and then we got to “what do you do?” I told her I was an Executive Coach, a speaker, trainer, radio show host and author. She asked who I worked with and I gave her that information. I of course turned the conversation to her and asked what she did. She worked for a large organization and had been there for many years… “After all, why should I leave? I get paid, don’t have to do too much and I get to do some traveling.” The conversation went on for a bit and she mentioned that she had never had a coach but her boss swears by them. Of course I needed to probe a little more and she told me, without any hesitation, she had never and would NEVER hire a coach because she would be expected to work more and harder and that is not what she wants to do. It started me thinking about standards and how as entrepreneurs we need to set the bar higher than we can even imagine. People will choose to work with you if what you are offering them is the best quality or service to solve their problem.

The truth is most people don’t like high standards because they create a lot of work – especially the kind of work that nobody likes in the first place. In the real world, getting from good to great requires extraordinary efforts and high standards. It demands more time than you want, more energy than you have, and more cooperation than any normal person can be expected to contribute.

That’s IF you want high standards. If you are willing to settle for “good,” things can be much easier – and you can be much nicer. How about if we talk about standards…for instance what are they anyway?

Your standards define how you act, which, in turn, builds trust in your brand. They can be guidelines that describe your quality, your performance, your style or your systems. Standards must align with your mission, business objectives, and leadership, and be implemented consistently.

What about our own personal standards? Are they written on a wall for all to see? Not necessarily, but think about this; personal standards are what separates the highest achievers from everyone else. Personal standards are nothing more than a set of behaviors. These behaviors are built upon expectations you have of yourself in a variety of situations. Your personal standards are reflected in how you treat yourself, and also in how you treat other people. They are also reflected in how you expect to be treated by other people. When you have high standards you expect to be treated with the highest of regard. However, when your standards are low it suggests that you are lacking in the self-esteem department. Remember though, no matter who your customer is, you shouldn’t change your standards to meet theirs.

Your personal standards are also reflected in the promises you keep, the way you show up, and are reflected in the quality of your work, values and communication. In fact, everything you do and say gives others an indication of the personal standards you live by. As women, we might have to work a little harder and set the bar a little higher to be treated on an equal playing field, and that’s ok. It’s just a little extra stretch…and we’re used to that.

Luckily, if you turn to entrepreneurship as a way to fulfil your potentials and meet your standards as well, there are so many valuable resources to learn from. No longer do we need to learn everything through trial and error! And that feeling that you’re not alone in your striving, that helps. Just recently I’ve interviewed Stefan Pretty, an interesting Scottish entrepreneur who created Subbly, a management software for subscription businesses. But what really inspired me is the way he shows a step-by-step approach (that’s what I love about it…plus it’s easy to follow) on how to start a subscription box, making that start line (which is often the most difficult one) as straightforward as possible. And once you actually start something, it becomes easier to continue evolving and also, raise the standards when you realize that goals were more achievable then you thought!

Speaking of which…Do you have goals that you would like to achieve? Have you ever considered that in order to achieve these goals that you must first raise your personal standards in certain aspects of your life? Setting low standards will only take you so far along your journey towards your goal. With low standards you will simply not put enough work, time, energy or resources into this goal. You will not be able to give this goal what it requires, and therefore you will end up not getting the results you truly want.

When you set high standards you immediately raise your expectations of what’s possible. You suddenly expect more from yourself, more from your actions, and more from others. And with a higher set of expectations you are willing to do more to get the results you’re after, and your performance level shoots straight up.

As Tony Robbins said, “Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards.”

Don’t be like my airport buddy thinking that having a coach means others will expect more from you and that is a negative thing…after all, what is wrong with that?

The Value Of Coaching

When I started my company in 2009, one of the first things I did was to understand what I didn’t know how to do. I loved people, I could sell, I wanted to make a difference and always wanted to bring value. All sounds great so far right? What I didn’t really know how to do was to create a company or a business that would support me in loving people, selling, making a difference and bringing value.

So the first step was knowing what I needed and then realizing I didn’t know what I didn’t know and that is where my business coach came in. She sat me down and asked me a lot of questions, listened to my goals or dreams and together we worked together to put that in place. Again, sounds great so far right? Here’s the REAL truth. You have to know how to listen to your coach. They have the experience and expertise. If you had an athletic coach who told you to hit the ball or kick the ball or catch the ball or whatever with the ball and you thought you knew better, where do you think that would end up? Ok not much different with a business coach.

Everything she told me to do made perfect sense, however, I already knew that, already tried that and was already to dismiss that. Let me just say that if you asked me what type of person I don’t ever want to coach…it would be the ones that say I’ve done that already, I’ve tried that already and the rest of that nonsense. During one of my sessions, it was decided that I would write a book. It wasn’t necessarily my decision as it was never on my radar, but my coach suggested that since I had 30 years of “stuff” in my head, why not organize it and share it with others. I finally agreed and she told me to have an outline, not the book itself, just an outline completed by a certain date. I sheepishly agreed and didn’t really give it another thought. Remember, I knew better…The date came and we were having a session and towards the end she asked me to show her the outline. It was not completed or really, it was not even started. She was less than happy but very professional. She didn’t say what she probably wanted to say but she did say this… “Let’s get in the car and drive for a few minutes. Then let’s open the windows and throw all your money out, roll up the windows and leave.” I thought she had lost her mind and then she finished with “Why are you paying me all this money when you don’t do any of the work? How will your business ever get off the ground? How will people know who you are? How will you ever make a difference or bring value?” That was the day I realized how important a coach really is.

The truth is that coaching helps people focus on the things that are contributing to their being stuck, and then move beyond them. I knew I was stuck in a place that I didn’t recognize and I needed someone who knew better than I did and who was totally objective to move me along. Harvey Mackay said, “Athletes and actors have long hired coaches to help prepare for a specific competition or role. But they aren’t the only ones who can benefit from expert advice. Coaches are available to help people in any field improve their “game.” You see will all need to improve our game…no matter what field that is in.

There are so many reasons to have a coach for your business. Ever think about what qualities you should look for? I put together a Slide Share about this topic. Here are the highlights and you can go to slideshare.net- 15 Qualities You Should Look For In A Business Coach. You can check it out at https://www.slideshare.net/JHoberman/15-qualities-you-should-look-for-in-a-business-coach. The highlights are below:

FRIENDSHIP Builds a Mutual Relationship based on mutual respect. Look for someone who uses respectful dialogue. This could turn into a life-long friendship. Even though this begins as a business relationship, in order to be truly effective, it generally goes beyond that phase because the coach learns as much from the client as the client learns from the coach.
TRUST Not everyone in today’s society has a trusted advisor they can count on. Many people have ulterior motives when they are asked to help someone else. A great coach is someone you can trust and has true interest in your success and reaching your self-declared goals.
LISTEN A great coach really understands good listening is often taken for granted. The very best conversations and relationships involve our intentional listening- listening to learn, with a clear and quiet mind, not just waiting for our turn to speak. Listening is a great coach’s gift to their client!
INSPIRE A great coach helps create a vision and helps describe it. They will understand your passion and continues to inspire you by reminding you of your original passion and purpose.
EXPERIENCE A great coach should have years of experience and speaks your language. Their experience should not only bring an understanding in business, but more importantly, experience with people.
GOALS Many times goals are set too low requiring minimal effort to reach them, or too high where it becomes unrealistic to reach them. A great coach helps you set realistic goals that are achievable but requires effort to reach them.
MOTIVATION What drives you? What are you looking to achieve? It’s easy to be derailed when your goals aren’t reached quickly enough. A great coach defines your goals and breaks them down into small steps so that you can see successes along the way.
ORGANIZED A great coach provides organization & simplification. They help order thoughts and gives a formula for success and help develop a process to achieve whatever you want to accomplish. A great coach customizes the process to align with your needs.
CHALLENGE A great coach identifies challenges. Including ones that you may not even see which can prepare you for a smoother outcome. Remember, you don’t know what you don’t know!
PATH A great coach develops solutions. They help develop a path out of the challenges at hand. A road map that runs interference and provides a clear path to achieve your vision.
EXPECTATIONS A great coach is someone who helps guide expectations. They help you to understand your own expectations which tend to be influenced many times with over optimism. Reasonable expectations with early successes, victories and important milestones reached will take away the discouragement many find while navigating a difficult path.
GROWTH A great coach ensures your growth by challenging you. They move you out of your comfort zone with necessary steps and actions to achieve your goals and create scenarios and opportunities for you to be well rounded.
MEASURE A great coach evaluates your performance. They develop a process that measures your performance. Constantly evaluating your performance with real time feedback gives you the opportunity to learn and trains you to solve your own challenges with a set of effective tools.
ACCOUNTABLE A great coach is an accountability partner. For your self-declared goals, a coach will provide constructive feedback so that you can achieve what you set out to do. You are less likely to hold yourself fully accountable if you don’t share your goals with someone that is a trusted and objective partner.
SUPPORT A great coach is supportive. They are always there for support even when there may not be anyone else that can see, believes in, or supports your vision.

Remember, Coaching is the universal language of change and learning.

Business Or Expensive Hobby

Here’s the scenario…you decide you have something that will solve a solution for others. You’ve researched the market through surveys, focus groups and lots of connections. This is what you’ve been put here to do and so now you do as Nike as reminded you for decades and you “Just Do It” and voila you have a business…or do you? So-Is it a business or a hobby?

Let’s think about this…like almost anything else, the beginning of something can dictate how it will be in the future. If you’re in a relationship and the beginning is not good, you might be given a bird’s eye view of what it will be going forward. If you have a client that is less than desirable, you will probably see what that relationship will be for you. The truth is that this phase of your business SHOULD be the most exciting on one hand because rest assured, on the other hand it can also be the one that will try your patience at every turn. There will be people, even those closest to you, that will tell you that you are crazy for doing this while others have no idea how you can be so courageous. You’ll have times that you look at something that you’ve created or written and smile and know that is exactly what you were aiming for and then…you have to scrap it because it really isn’t solving a problem…only one that you are creating. And then there are those times when you are ready to just throw your hands up because this is NOT what you bargained for. So using my first thought, if the beginning isn’t good, should you just move along? To this I say No!

We’ve heard that if you have passion and heart that you can start your own business and be successful; you know “Do what you love and the money will follow”…unfortunately business doesn’t really follow that. What you want to determine is if you have a business or really only have an expensive hobby. You’re an incredible baker, but is that passion and skill enough for the million-dollar business you have in your head? Right look at Debbie Fields…the truth is she had a lot more than just a great cookie.

Here are some questions you need to ask yourself before you jump into the world of entrepreneurship that might give you a chance to succeed instead of hitting head first into a wall…and by the way, these were the questions that I asked myself:

What do I do?
How do I do it?
What will bring in revenue?
How do I decide what I want to be when I grow up?

My self-doubt was at an all-time high. In my case, I found a business coach who helped lead me on the right and best path. I made so many mistakes that most of us make and made so many that I even wrote a book about it “Famous Isn’t Enough: Earning Your Fortune As An Entrepreneur” I believed if I could save another excited entrepreneur some time and money, that would be perfect. Of course some of you will make the same mistakes or detours that I’ve made and that’s ok because sometimes you have to experience something yourself to truly understand. Just make sure you learn the lesson so you can share your wisdom with other budding entrepreneurs down the road.

The sad reality is that nine out of ten startups will fail. While this sounds like the end is near, if you work hard, stay focused and listen to those that have been there done that, your chances of success are greater

For those of you that would like some steps to take to be in the 10% success group rather than the 90% that aren’t, here you go:

Do Your Research-While your mom and BFF will be true supporters of your newest venture, it’s probably better to do some of your own research. You can do this in person, via surveys or on social media. Make sure you do a wide enough circle of people so that you get true readings.
Build Your Audience First-Ok you’re off…but there is no one there to receive what you are offering. If you are doing a launch and only 3 people show up, you will be frustrated but you will also realize how important it is to build your audience first. Start sharing content that is directly related to what you will be offering and make sure it is valuable and exciting. Don’t believe what some say that you should hold your best information and content for paying clients. How and why would people want to work with you if the only thing you are sharing is fluff? When you share and give right from the beginning you are letting others know that is your M.O. and to stay tuned for more of where that came from.
Never Stop Learning-We all want to be known as the thought leaders in our circles. However, even if you own that title, you should always continue in the learning process. Reach out to those that are in your space or way beyond your space and ask…If you never ask the answer is always no. Also always remember not to hoard your experience and expertise. Remember those budding entrepreneurs that are ready to learn? Share with them. You too should be one of those because if you are the smartest in the room, you are in the wrong room.
Don’t Be Afraid Of Technology-there are so many tools out there that can shorten your learning curve or enhance your offerings. If you are not tech-savvy, find someone who is. Maybe there is something you can barter that they need until you can both share financially. But, if that isn’t the case, technology challenges can cause you to be behind the 8-ball so find a way to stay as current as possible. There are so many tools that are free to use…and I bet that YouTube has a tutorial on that. When you are ready to add to your team, someone with strengths in technology would be one of the first to add.
Think About Revenue From The Beginning-Some entrepreneurs are lucky enough to have investors that will help finance their businesses. Most of us are not that fortunate. Either way, have to think about “Show Me The Money” from the beginning. What is your cash flow? How will you pay your bills without dipping into your personal funds? You want your business to grow and like it or not, money is part of that. Be part of the 10% not the 90% of businesses that succeed.

Michael Dell said, “Ideas are a commodity. Execution of them is not.”

What Would You Do-Over?

I was thinking about some of the things that have happened in my life, both the amazing and the not so much fun times. I started daydreaming about the woulda, coulda, shoulda ways the outcome might have been different and realized that things happen just as they are supposed to and that everything we do has a lesson attached to it…but what if we got a second chance to change things? What if we were able to take some of the adversities we go through and turn them around and what if we had a Do-Over?

When we think about fairy tales, everyone lives happily ever after…but even fairy tales have adversity…the poison apple, the lost shoe, being locked in the tower…. That is something that every one of us has to go through at some point in our lives. Will it create us to feel broken or damaged? Will it make us feel stuck? Will it define who we are? What if we decided that we are going to overcome this situation and perhaps look at it from a different perspective? Is it possible to step outside of your situation and think about the advice you would give to that person going through it? Of course, we are our own worst critics and as a coach, I can see clearly what’s going on in someone else’s life…but the truth is that I’m just too close to what’s going on in mine to step outside of it. And sometimes, you can’t even put into words what is happening in your life. Ever feel like that?

When I was working in my corporate position, I knew I wasn’t in the right situation. I loved part of what I did but what I didn’t love definitely outweighed the positive. I knew there were changes that needed to be made but wasn’t sure what, how, when it would or could happen. When I decided to think about me for just a few hours, I listened to someone, who later became my business coach, speak to a group of women. Her message was “Get Radical” and although I am a child of the bra burning, pants-suit wearing feminist’s era, getting radical and being radical was not on my bucket list. However, it was as though she spoke directly to me in this crowd of women and I knew that I could get out of my situation and start over…again. I had started over for other reasons in my life, but this was going to be a doozy. Let’s just say, I’m like a cat and land on my feet, but this time felt different. The first thing I had to do was emotionally detach myself from my situation. Sounds easy right? Well here are some ways to do just that:

~Accept what is going on-the more you fight, the more you lose. Why stay in a situation that will eventually cause you more suffering, whether it is emotionally, financially or physically. What the key is in the situation is not getting rid of it, it’s how you react to it. Remember life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to it.

~Try and look at this as a positive thing-As much as we don’t want to admit it, going through adversity can actually be a good thing. As I said, every situation you go through should give you some lessons to take you forward. If everything was easy breezy, don’t you think life would be just a little boring? I know we wish for boring some times, but the challenges we face bring us to understanding just how great it is to get beyond the challenges.

~Keep your purpose alive-If you lose your purpose and passion, adversity wins. Remember why you started doing what you are doing. Remember who and what brought you to the dance and remember that the outcome is bigger than the present situation you are going through.

And finally

~Remember your personal board of directors-make sure that the people that are around you, can guide you away from the adversity you are going through. You cannot and should not try to do things by yourself. When you choose staying in bed with your blankets over your head rather than facing the situation head on, you are destined to go enter that downward spiral.

Let’s admit that life has its ups and downs and as we all know and have been taught, that what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger . Sometimes the challenges we go through seem to last much longer than we had hoped for but that shouldn’t mean we give up and accept defeat. It just means that there could be a second chance heading our way that gives us an opportunity to begin again. Now that doesn’t necessarily mean that you get to have a complete do-over and rectify your mistakes. But it does mean you have the chance to look at ways to make different choices and try it again. Taking that second chance may just give you back some of the confidence you lost or see things in a different light or maybe even defy all odds. Sometimes life gives you a second chance because maybe the first time you weren’t ready.

When I go back through my life and think about all the different challenges I faced, it’s a wonder I am still standing and smiling. As a single mom for 19 years, I had the challenge of supporting my children emotionally and financially. I did not have the luxury of not succeeding. It was my job to create an environment where they were loved, nurtured and had the ability to succeed. My motivation were my children. In fact, people laugh when I tell them that on my desk, where I made my calls to schedule my insurance appointments, were pictures of my children and their tuition bills…nothing more motivating than that.

I also had one hand tied behind my back because I added to my own situation when I was the only woman in my company and I was a commission based salesperson. You see, I chose my career. I chose to do what I did and how I did it. I chose to make things happen. We all make choices and whether or not some of our adversities are because of choices we had made or not, again, it’s how we are prepared for battle. I relied on believing in myself, my family, my friends and my faith that I would get over that enormous challenge and be successful…whatever my definition is. As Zig Ziglar said, “Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful”. A little background music can add to that as well J

Making Your Sales Relationship Into A Selling Relationship

Building relationships requires time, effort and patience. It requires a strategy unique to each situation and prospect. It doesn’t mean developing a shrewd approach to ingratiate yourself with your prospects. If your approach is not heartfelt, it won’t work because people can see through a phony attitude. Successful companies and salespeople are service oriented with one goal in mind…getting the best and most for their money.

I’m sure most everyone is familiar with Southwest Airlines. Their focus is on building relationships and customer service and oh, by the way, they also fly airplanes!

Many salespeople go right into promoting their product or service as soon as they get the prospects attention instead of focusing on the relationship.

Most successful salespeople are relationship focused rather than sale focused. This is important before, during and after the sale.

Some things to remember:

Listen more than you talk. This is the key to building relationships. Jeffrey Gitomer said this so eloquently~ “You will never listen yourself out of a customer.”
Stop talking and ask questions-Asking questions begins the relationship, listening cements it
Be generous with your time even before you make a sale. Treat them “as if” give them valuable information, give them referrals to their business and send a handwritten thank you…even without a sale
Use tools to stay in touch- detailed notes you can refer to i.e. new baby, wedding, new home. You would be surprised how you stand out of the crowd just by asking how their vacation was or how the wedding was or in one case for me, remembering that the reason the original appointment was rescheduled was because a new floor was being put down
Touch people without selling them i.e. congrats on an award, google alert or even a great article that reminded you of them. It’s not always about selling to them.
Be consistent, persistent and professional. You want to be remembered for the right reasons

Selling is about building relationships. This cannot be said enough.

Did you know that it costs 5x more to get a new customer than to keep an existing customer? Translation=there is value in long term relationships-they turn into repeat buyers and become your walking ambassadors. Businesses don’t do business; people do business. Don’t miss out on the opportunities to develop relationships with a prospect because you are too focused on your sales pitch…Research confirms that companies and individuals who work hard at building and maintaining strong business relationships consistently outperform those who do not.

Remember always to Be Interested and not Interesting…

Will You Make It Out To…..

Lots of people write books with the intent of being a best selling author. There are all kinds of systems that you can put in place to make that happen online and when any of my friends do this, I am more than willing to offer my support.

When I wrote my book, I wrote it for a different reason. I wanted to get 30 years of experience out of my head and share whatever information I could to make the path for others easier, if I could. My book was my calling card and believe it or not, I was perfectly content.

Well, recently I was introduced to someone who introduced me to someone else who asked me if I would like to have a book signing… at Barnes and Noble.

Ummmm let me think…

YES!

This was an unexpected happening and I have to tell you I am truly excited. I guess that’s what all the fuss is about. This is what I was missing?? While I still wrote my book for the reasons I mentioned, having a book signing scheduled is amazing. I hope you come and see me on November 3rd at 2:00 at the Barnes and Noble University Village in Fort Worth. Come by and say hello and I would love to sign your book for you!

More details about the exact location can be found here: http://store-locator.barnesandnoble.com/store/2687

Commitment

According to dictionary.com, commitment is defined as: a pledge or promise; obligation. We all have made commitments and try our best to keep them.

The other day I was watching a form of commitment that gave new meaning to the word. I wanted to share this with you. From my back door you can see trees, flowers, my pool and lots of birds. I have an outdoor fan that has blades that are not flat, not perpendicular to the ground, but somewhere in between. Seems like a great place for a bird to build a nest, except that even though the blades are wide enough, they are slanted so that if anything is placed on them, it will fall off. However, I have a momma bird that is determined to build a nest on the blade….and I watch. She goes back and forth from the rose bush to the fan, from the crepe myrtle to the fan, from the tree branches to the fan.

Back and forth carrying one tiny piece at a time. Placing it ever so gently on the blade. Sometimes three or four pieces stay on the blade and then it all falls down. But, she doesn’t give up because she knows that she made a promise to her unborn babies that they will have a place to nest and so she continues. We all know the ending to the story….she needed to move on and find another safe place for her family.

I was quite impressed by this “I’m not giving up” attitude of this tiny bird. It made me think about people giving up on their promises or businesses giving up on their obligations. I too have thought of throwing my hands up because something was too difficult or I didn’t see how it made sense to continue. And then I think of this tiny bird dragging branches larger than she in order to fulfill her commitment.

Here are some simple principles on commitment in business:

Commitment to a set of values, principles or beliefs
Commitment to oneself
Commitment to your customer
Commitment to results

Happy Selling!

Content Roundup: 5 Parts of the “SIAS” Universe You May Not Know About

Videos

There are two places online you can see the complete collection of videos created about Selling In A Skirt. One is by clicking here to visit our video page. or clicking here to visit the Selling In A Skirt YouTube channel.

Press

Selling In A Skirt has been featured in over a dozen nationally recognized news sources including CBS, The Dallas Morning News, Exceptional People Magazine, and more. To see all the past stories in one place click here to visit the press page.

Downloads

I’ve made an effort to make a number of my offline resources available in digital form. These pieces of content explore the ideas and concepts presented here on the blog in greater depth. Click here to see a list of complimentary resources including white papers, special reports, and more. In addition, the downloads section also features a premium ebook.

Partners

Selling in A Skirt is backed by incredible partners. Every partner listed here on our partners page are world class experts in their respective fields, and provide incredibly valuable resources to both our community, and their own.

Success Stories

In the end though, this would all be meaningless fluff without proven results. By clicking here you can see a variety of testimonials from individuals who have applied the tips and tools presented here on the blog, and on Selling In A Skirt, and have the sales increase to prove it.

LAMP 2012 Video

In case you missed it in our newsletter, on our website, on facebook, or even on twitter, here is the full video of a talk I gave on the main platform at LAMP 2012 in Orlando Florida. Enjoy!

About the video: Judy Hoberman of Selling In A Skirt rallies a crowd of over 1500 people at the 2012 LAMP conference in Orlando FL. In this 31 minute talk she shares what 30 years in the field has taught her about the insurance industry from a woman’s perspective. She provides key strategies and essential reasons for bringing women into your team, keeping them happy, and why having them there is essential to your success in business.

The Word is….

Did you sell lemonade when you were younger. Perhaps girl scout cookies were more up your alley? Or maybe you mowed lawns in your neighborhood….do you know what the common thread is between your first experience having a business as a child and jumping in and doing it as an adult? It’s a word that speaks about courage, work ethics, determination and excitement. The word is ENTREPRENEUR!