Tag: #leadership

Do You Have What It Takes??

When we were kids playing outside, we would come up with all sorts of games.  Some involved running, some involved flying through the air on swings, and some involved balls to hit, throw or kick.  We were on teams and figured out who would do what and where. There always seemed to be one person who directed or suggested or moved us along and we knew that was the leader…at least for that moment.

When you think about it, we were exposed to leadership early on with “Simon Says”…one person would make a move or do something and say “Simon Says touch your toes”…and we all did. Eventually we all had a chance to be Simon and maybe some of us took it to another level by suggesting we do something tough that was in our own area of expertise like standing on one foot while you twirled around and threw a ball in the air that you had to catch behind you.  That could have eliminated many of the participants while at the same time we would all say WOW that’s pretty cool. And a leader was created.

Now, I want you to use your imagination and visualize the birth of a leader and a movement.  I was watching a video called “Leadership From A Dancing Guy” where an entire movement was created in less than 3 minutes.  It’s one of the best videos on leadership and I thought a perfect example to share. Close your eyes and imagine you are at a music festival. There is a song blaring over the loudspeakers and people are sitting on the grass enjoying the weather, the music and each other.  Out of nowhere comes a young man who is dubbed “The Shirtless Dancing Guy” and he starts dancing…by himself.  Just dancing away and having a blast. What happens next is amazing. This is part of the official transcript of the video so listen for what’s happening as well as the lessons:

“A leader needs the guts to stand alone and look ridiculous. But what he’s doing is so simple, it’s almost instructional. This is key. You must be easy to follow!

Now comes the first follower with a crucial role: he publicly shows everyone how to follow. Notice the leader embraces him as an equal, so it’s not about the leader anymore – it’s about them, plural. Notice he’s calling to his friends to join in. It takes guts to be a first follower! You stand out and brave ridicule, yourself. Being a first follower is an under-appreciated form of leadership. The first follower transforms a lone nut into a leader.

The 2nd follower is a turning point: its proof the first has done well. Now it’s not a lone nut, and it’s not two nuts. Three is a crowd and a crowd is news.

A movement must be public. Make sure outsiders see more than just the leader. Everyone needs to see the followers because new followers emulate followers – not the leader.

Now here come 2 more, then 3 more. Now we’ve got momentum. This is the tipping point! Now we’ve got a movement!

As more people jump in, it’s no longer risky. If they were on the fence before, there’s no reason not to join now. They won’t be ridiculed, they won’t stand out, and they will be part of the in-crowd, if they hurry.”

Ok now open your eyes. Can you see how leadership can be created? Whether it’s Simon Says or The Dancing Guys, leaders can be anyone who takes the lead and runs with it.

Let me share some top qualities of a successful leader:

1. The successful leader has a vision: Where are you now, where do you want to be and how are you going to get there. You want to make sure your vision is crystal clear and easy to follow.

2. The successful leader communicates well: Now that you have a vision, you need to share that with others so that the communication lines are open. Make the vision short, sweet and to the point but make the lines of communication open and accessible.

3. The successful leader is supportive: Find out what your team and partners are reaching for and help them find a way to begin that journey to achieve their goals. If someone needs more support offer it.  If someone needs more support and doesn’t want it, help them to find another position they might be better suited for. Be a role model that others can look up to.

4. The successful leader believes in his/herself: As a leader your confidence is what others are attracted to.  They will grow from your mistakes as well as soar from your attitude. Admit when you don’t know something or that you have made a mistake instead of blaming others. When a situation involves others, put your defensive attitude away and listen to those involved.  They will tell you what you need to hear so that you can turn around a negative situation. Be proactive rather than reactive.

5. The successful leader creates an environment of motivation and productivity: While we sometimes “assume” we know what others want and need; your best option is to ask. Ask what motivates others.  You’ll be surprised when money doesn’t show up in the conversation.  Ask where they want to be in another year.  Don’t be surprised when someone says they want your position. Ask what’s important to them.  You won’t be surprised when family is at the top of the list. Ask questions and they will know you are interested in what they are doing as well as who they are. Ask, ask, ask and then listen.

Let them share with you what is a challenge and what is a triumph.  Offer positive feedback and let them know some of the same struggles you might have experienced and how you overcame those.  Celebrate with them when they reach a milestone. Let them take credit for a job well done, a project completed on or before the deadline or an idea that had an amazing result.

Remember the dancing man. It was the first follower that transformed a lone nut into a leader. When you find a lone nut doing something great, have the guts to be the first person to stand up and join in.

As John Maxwell said, “A good leader is a person who takes a little more of his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit.”

Happy Selling!

Judy Hoberman http://www.sellinginaskirt.com

Are You Hearing What I’m Saying?

Think about this…as a speaker, you have an event coming up. You talk to the organizer or meeting planner about who the audience is, what their expectations are and what the message they want you to share and are prepared to accomplish that. You review your talking points and are excited to really offer the attendees exactly what you were told they needed.  You’re a bit nervous as you always are before a talk and then…you walk in and the audience is not who the planner told you they would be, the message you have is not relevant to them and you know that there is no way you will relate to them or them to you.  All you wanted was to connect with them and talk about what was important to them…any hope of them hearing your message is now out the window. You only hope you wake up from this nightmare of a dream.

That scenario, as crazy as it sounds, really did happen to me. I always do my homework and know the audience, what the meeting planner wants and needs and provide some tips for immediate implementation so it isn’t simply a rah rah talk and will be forgotten as soon as everyone goes back into their own “real” world.  I should have realized when the planner didn’t have a lot of information and everything I asked had a “sounds great” response.  Any certain verbiage or examples I should use? “You’ve got this and sounds great” was all I received.  Even after doing research on the group, I didn’t find a lot to work with, but I knew the message she wanted…and so I was ready to connect and bring value.

And then…I walked into the room that was to be 98% female and it was anything but that. The attendees were looking for something totally different than what I was prepared to share with them and although I did some amazing tap dancing, the majority of the room and I were not connecting and I left ready to throw in the towel. I have never felt so horrible.  I received a comment that I should never be invited back as I wasn’t prepared…and that was one of the good ones. I reached out to the planner and apologized for not giving the attendees what they were looking for and she told me she thought it was great and she loves having me and can’t wait to do this again. I wasn’t even sure if she was in the same room as I didn’t feel that at all.

So, the question is, how important is communicating effectively? How about connecting to the people on your team? Are they hearing the message that you are intending to send? Unfortunately, for most of us, our communication goals are not consistently achieved; our message is not received as it was intended.  Communication is a necessary skill for all interpersonal relations; personal or professional. If a message is not understood, you have not communicated.

Your role as a leader is to:

  • To make communication as simple as possible
  • To be clear
  • To create understanding and meaning
  • To generate feedback
  • To check for understanding

Here are some ways to connect effectively:

  1. Be genuine. The only connections that work will be the ones that you truly care about; the world will see through anything short of that. If you don’t have a genuine interest in the person with whom you’re trying to connect with, then stop trying. As a leader, you must show that you are there to support someone’s goals and dreams. We don’t have to agree with their journey…you need to support it. It’s about them, not about you.
  2. Provide massive help. Most people never reach out to anyone above their level.  Did you know that everyone needs help or support in something? You have more to offer than you realize and those on your team want to learn from you. For women especially, it’s hard enough to ask for help. When someone does, pay attention to them and be interested in them.
  3. Persistence is key. When you are looking to connect with someone, you can’t give up after one attempt. It’s the same with someone trying to get your attention.  We are all busy and may not be able to jump when someone needs us. Sometimes a simple email or message letting them know when you are available will ease the situation. Communication is at an all-time high when they are trying to connect with you. Put yourself in their shoes…how would you want to be heard? 
  4. Make real connections. Think about how you’ve made the connections you have. That’s all this is. You only create relationships with people you genuinely want in your life. The same rule should apply with those reaching out to you. Don’t over-think it. Be human, be helpful and most humans will happily be human in return, regardless of who they are or what position they hold.
  5. Remain unforgettable, in other words, find ways to stand out. Remember birthdays or important events happening in your team. Give them your favorite book signed. Be genuinely helpful. You’d be surprised how the simplest things actually never get done. Being memorable isn’t as hard as some think! Be the leader or mentor that you wish you had. Imagine what that would feel like for someone else.

Here is something to ponder… Think about a situation in which you experienced difficulty in communicating effectively with another person. If you had the opportunity for a second chance, what would you do differently? Was it the message or was it the way it was communicated? As a leader you need to understand what the other person is saying-not necessarily agreeing with it. Check in to make sure you both understand what is said and what is heard…and especially what isn’t said.

As Steven Stowell said, “Great leaders find ways to connect with their people and help them fulfill their potential.”

Happy Selling!

Judy Hoberman http://www.sellinginaskirt.com