Tag: #change

The Power To Change

In 2009, I knew I wasn’t in the right place. I tried to make myself fit in. Since I’ve always felt like a square peg in a round hole for most of my life, this wasn’t a new sensation. But something was different. I was looking for a sign or an opportunity or someone to tell me it was time to move along, but no message was coming through. An email ended up in my inbox. It’s the kind of email that you delete because it is so long and it’s from someone you don’t know and why waste your time wasting your time? For some reason, I did read it and it was about an event that was going to take place in a few weeks in MD.  I called my sister-in-law and told her about it, and we decided to meet in MD and if the conference wasn’t anything we wanted to hear, we would spend the weekend together and catch up. She lived in NJ and I lived in TX.

We met there and something happened. The woman on stage was speaking directly to me. She was saying things I had only said to myself. She was the voice, the message and the opportunity to do something…and I did. The next Monday I went back to my office, I handed in my resignation and I finally took control of my life…I had the power to change.

Change is inevitable. Sometimes change is forced upon us, while other times we initiate it. How skilled are you at handling the need to shift course, whether it is brought on by external or internal forces?  How do you tend to feel when you step outside your comfort zone? Exhilarated? Terrified? Lost? Remember, comfort zones are relative. Every time you step into uncharted territory, sooner or later you will find some degree of comfort there. Do not settle too deeply into this new comfort zone, as it may soon be time to step out again.

When you are in a leadership position, others look to you for cues as to how they, too, might manage shifting tides and forge bravely ahead. Here are some of the benefits of change:

  • Personal growth-Every time something changes, you have the opportunity to grow and learn not only about “things” but also about yourself.
  • Flexibility-Change forces us to be flexible. You must bend and shift to meet new circumstances.
  • Situations improve-It may not look that way at first, but it is up to you to optimize the situation. You probably did not choose to be worse off than before—at least not for the long haul. So, whether the change was made by you, to you, or for you, get your big girl panties on and make improvements in your life.
  • Your core values are tested and strengthened-No matter what comes your way, your core values are what define you, so look at change as a way to reinforce those values.
  • You will become stronger-We all know the adage, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I have found this to be true in my life. I also have learned that being stronger sometimes means asking for help.
  • Opportunities will appear-They may be what you had hoped for, or they may be things you never previously considered. Be open and remain curious about what opportunities this change will bring.

While change can be difficult, not changing can be fatal. We probably all can name now-defunct businesses that did not adapt to the times or to changes in consumer preferences. This applies as much to people as it does to companies. I remember my father was a jeweler. He crafted very expensive pieces and during the recession in the 80’s, we all suggested that he bring in some less expensive pieces. They could still be unique, but they weren’t going to cost a small fortune. He was adamant that he didn’t need to change, and you know the saying, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I mentioned that perhaps we could bring in some local designers, some new ones that were starting out and had great promise. Again, he declined, and we stopped trying to show him how change could be powerful. In the end, his store closed, and he blamed everything except the power that he had to change. BTW, the designer that I had spoken to that was just starting out…David Yurman.

We are all going through a time where it seems everything is changing. The way you do business. The way you connect. The way you say hello. The way you take care of yourself. While you feel like nothing is the same, you are probably being pushed outside your comfort zone. It’s time for you to understand and then…accept change and be brilliant.

Start with baby steps. While some of our changes were thrown to us without any warning, remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Start with one step, then add another. Do not try to change everything at once. You will become overwhelmed, and when that happens, nothing else happens. Prioritize what needs to get done and start there. When you complete one baby step, go for another one. Do not forget to take a moment and congratulate yourself on a job well done. Throw in a reward or two and watch how quickly you move through your list.

Get support. Do not do it alone. Surround yourself with positive people who can provide experience, wisdom, and connections. They too are navigating these choppy waters. While you are asking for help, they are also receiving some from you.

Going back to the phrase “Change is Inevitable…let’s add on Growth is Optional.” Your reaction, attitude and behavior to change is in your hands.  Remember…you have the power to change.

An old English proverb sums it all up, “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”

To add levity while applying these needed course corrections, I like to declare, “Plot twist!” A little humor goes a long way.

Happy Selling!

Judy Hoberman http://www.sellinginaskirt.com

Your Most Powerful Tool Is Your Mind…

If you are old enough to remember floppy disks, syntax errors, bits and bytes and Dos, you will also remember thinking and wondering why you didn’t get every piece of information that you needed pouring out at your request. Unfortunately, we were reminded that what you put in, is what you get out. That is not any different with your mind. Your mind can be your best friend or your biggest critic.  It depends on what you feed it every day.  When you wake up in the morning do you think about everything you didn’t finish the day before or do you start the day feeling like you are excited about getting the day started?

Your brain is a pretty powerful tool that you have in your own, private toolbox. Whenever you think of something, whether it’s something you’ve done many times or something you are trying for the first time, your brain has a new path created for that particular thought. The more you repeat the thought, the stronger that path is, and your brain is helping to create the best path to make this thought repeatable and easy to remember. Sometimes those thoughts will be incredibly beneficial and other times…not so much. The not so much time can be that the new thought you are having is too difficult or too time consuming or just plain uncomfortable…even though the picture you have is exactly where you want to head.  That’s called stepping outside of your comfort zone. 

When you decide you want to make a change in your life (whether it be a physical change or a change in the way you think about something), there is a period of time that this is bound to feel uncomfortable because you are now needing to construct new neural pathways that support the desired change. Your brain doesn’t like this. It wants to take the path it already knows…also known as your comfort zone. But here’s the truth about that…once you step out, more than once, that will soon become your comfort zone so don’t fear the unknown…it will only be the unknown once.

Your mind is the most powerful tool you have at your disposal to create your life exactly how you want it to be. Some of us dream in vivid color, some of us write and others talk about it…our lives and what we want it to look like. When you describe it “as if” it was the present, it feels as if it is happening right now.

Some people think that dreaming big means you think too highly of yourself—that big dreams signal you are arrogant or perhaps directionless. But in truth, having big dreams means you are determined to live on purpose, are nurturing a vision, and are taking steps to make it happen.

Imagine how different your life would be if you actively pursued even a few of the dreams you had when you were little. Life was simpler than, and dreaming was something we all did and were not afraid to share. As we grow up, some of us abandon our dreams while others stop dreaming altogether.

It all comes back to your mindset. Allowing yourself to be inspired and encouraged by your dreams can prompt you to set goals and establish an implementable plan of action. If you believe you can accomplish those big dreams, why not go after them? Why settle for the small ones instead?

I can’t imagine a world without dreamers. Without them, we would not have the things we take for granted like cars, phones, lights, airplanes, computers, and the ability to connect globally.

Let’s think about how we can use our most powerful tool to create the life we want.

1. Fear should not be an ingredient in dreaming big. We had no problem as little girls dreaming huge dreams because nothing stopped us. As women in business, what is stopping us now? Set your goals and set your sites. Little girls with big dreams can become women with vision.

2. With your big dreams in front of you, make sure you identify the steps to get there. I always tell my clients to come up with a number (in terms of dollars, clients, applications, or whatever applies to them) they want to secure by a certain date. Then I tell them to work backward and break that number down into tiny little pieces to chart the steps to reach their goal. A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes a dream come true … and the cycle continues. 

3. Track your progress. If you do not track your progress, how will you know when you have arrived? Make sure your starting point, goals, and milestones are clearly defined. No matter how often we hear, “Success is a journey, not a destination,” I had to learn this the hard way. As a solopreneur, I thought, “Why do I need to do this? It is just me. I know what I want, so I will just go for it. Well that turned out to be one of the costliest mistakes I’ve made in business. You don’t have to use an expensive program to track your progress. You could simply use a spreadsheet or piece of paper, but don’t forego this important step. I ultimately rectified the problem two long, hard years after launching my business.

4. Do not do it alone, and do not allow energy vampires suck you dry or feed you negativity. Surround yourself with people who believe in and support you. In addition to a coach or mentor, develop of network of colleagues who can be your accountability partners, just as you can be theirs. People can inspire you or drain you. Choose wisely.

5. Be open to failing. It is part of the process. When you dream big, you will have some hiccups. Brush off your bruised knees, pick yourself up, and continue on the path. The bigger the dream, the more steps you may need to take. Think of the forward and backward steps more of a cha-cha than obstacles. When you realize that failing does not make you a failure, you free yourself to try many different things.

Believe in yourself and dream big. As you consider the path to take, do not forget about the rest of your life, especially your family. Work hard, take action, and keep pushing through when things get tough. Focus on the things that only you can do and outsource the rest. Learn to say no, and most of all, dig in and stay committed.                               

Remember as Tony Gaskins said, “If you don’t build your dream, someone will hire you to help build theirs.”

Happy Selling!

Judy Hoberman http://www.sellinginaskirt.com