Change is Inevitable, Growth is Optional – Page 2 – by Judy Hoberman

The Power To Change

In 2009, I knew I wasn’t in the right place. I tried to make myself fit in. Since I’ve always felt like a square peg in a round hole for most of my life, this wasn’t a new sensation. But something was different. I was looking for a sign or an opportunity or someone to tell me it was time to move along, but no message was coming through. An email ended up in my inbox. It’s the kind of email that you delete because it is so long and it’s from someone you don’t know and why waste your time wasting your time? For some reason, I did read it and it was about an event that was going to take place in a few weeks in MD. I called my sister-in-law and told her about it, and we decided to meet in MD and if the conference wasn’t anything we wanted to hear, we would spend the weekend together and catch up. She lived in NJ and I lived in TX.

We met there and something happened. The woman on stage was speaking directly to me. She was saying things I had only said to myself. She was the voice, the message and the opportunity to do something…and I did. The next Monday I went back to my office, I handed in my resignation and I finally took control of my life…I had the power to change.

Change is inevitable. Sometimes change is forced upon us, while other times we initiate it. How skilled are you at handling the need to shift course, whether it is brought on by external or internal forces? How do you tend to feel when you step outside your comfort zone? Exhilarated? Terrified? Lost? Remember, comfort zones are relative. Every time you step into uncharted territory, sooner or later you will find some degree of comfort there. Do not settle too deeply into this new comfort zone, as it may soon be time to step out again.

When you are in a leadership position, others look to you for cues as to how they, too, might manage shifting tides and forge bravely ahead. Here are some of the benefits of change:

Personal growth-Every time something changes, you have the opportunity to grow and learn not only about “things” but also about yourself.

Flexibility-Change forces us to be flexible. You must bend and shift to meet new circumstances.

Situations improve-It may not look that way at first, but it is up to you to optimize the situation. You probably did not choose to be worse off than before—at least not for the long haul. So, whether the change was made by you, to you, or for you, get your big girl panties on and make improvements in your life.

Your core values are tested and strengthened-No matter what comes your way, your core values are what define you, so look at change as a way to reinforce those values.

You will become stronger-We all know the adage, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I have found this to be true in my life. I also have learned that being stronger sometimes means asking for help.

Opportunities will appear-They may be what you had hoped for, or they may be things you never previously considered. Be open and remain curious about what opportunities this change will bring.

While change can be difficult, not changing can be fatal. We probably all can name now-defunct businesses that did not adapt to the times or to changes in consumer preferences. This applies as much to people as it does to companies. I remember my father was a jeweler. He crafted very expensive pieces and during the recession in the 80’s, we all suggested that he bring in some less expensive pieces. They could still be unique, but they weren’t going to cost a small fortune. He was adamant that he didn’t need to change, and you know the saying, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I mentioned that perhaps we could bring in some local designers, some new ones that were starting out and had great promise. Again, he declined, and we stopped trying to show him how change could be powerful. In the end, his store closed, and he blamed everything except the power that he had to change. BTW, the designer that I had spoken to that was just starting out…David Yurman.

We are all going through a time where it seems everything is changing. The way you do business. The way you connect. The way you say hello. The way you take care of yourself. While you feel like nothing is the same, you are probably being pushed outside your comfort zone. It’s time for you to understand and then…accept change and be brilliant.

Start with baby steps. While some of our changes were thrown to us without any warning, remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Start with one step, then add another. Do not try to change everything at once. You will become overwhelmed, and when that happens, nothing else happens. Prioritize what needs to get done and start there. When you complete one baby step, go for another one. Do not forget to take a moment and congratulate yourself on a job well done. Throw in a reward or two and watch how quickly you move through your list.

Get support. Do not do it alone. Surround yourself with positive people who can provide experience, wisdom, and connections. They too are navigating these choppy waters. While you are asking for help, they are also receiving some from you.

Going back to the phrase “Change is Inevitable…let’s add on Growth is Optional.” Your reaction, attitude and behavior to change is in your hands. Remember…you have the power to change.

An old English proverb sums it all up, “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”

To add levity while applying these needed course corrections, I like to declare, “Plot twist!” A little humor goes a long way.

Happy Selling!

Judy Hoberman http://www.sellinginaskirt.com

Are You Hearing What I’m Saying?

Think about this…as a speaker, you have an event coming up. You talk to the organizer or meeting planner about who the audience is, what their expectations are and what the message they want you to share and are prepared to accomplish that. You review your talking points and are excited to really offer the attendees exactly what you were told they needed. You’re a bit nervous as you always are before a talk and then…you walk in and the audience is not who the planner told you they would be, the message you have is not relevant to them and you know that there is no way you will relate to them or them to you. All you wanted was to connect with them and talk about what was important to them…any hope of them hearing your message is now out the window. You only hope you wake up from this nightmare of a dream.

That scenario, as crazy as it sounds, really did happen to me. I always do my homework and know the audience, what the meeting planner wants and needs and provide some tips for immediate implementation so it isn’t simply a rah rah talk and will be forgotten as soon as everyone goes back into their own “real” world. I should have realized when the planner didn’t have a lot of information and everything I asked had a “sounds great” response. Any certain verbiage or examples I should use? “You’ve got this and sounds great” was all I received. Even after doing research on the group, I didn’t find a lot to work with, but I knew the message she wanted…and so I was ready to connect and bring value.

And then…I walked into the room that was to be 98% female and it was anything but that. The attendees were looking for something totally different than what I was prepared to share with them and although I did some amazing tap dancing, the majority of the room and I were not connecting and I left ready to throw in the towel. I have never felt so horrible. I received a comment that I should never be invited back as I wasn’t prepared…and that was one of the good ones. I reached out to the planner and apologized for not giving the attendees what they were looking for and she told me she thought it was great and she loves having me and can’t wait to do this again. I wasn’t even sure if she was in the same room as I didn’t feel that at all.

So, the question is, how important is communicating effectively? How about connecting to the people on your team? Are they hearing the message that you are intending to send? Unfortunately, for most of us, our communication goals are not consistently achieved; our message is not received as it was intended. Communication is a necessary skill for all interpersonal relations; personal or professional. If a message is not understood, you have not communicated.

Your role as a leader is to:

To make communication as simple as possible
To be clear
To create understanding and meaning
To generate feedback
To check for understanding

Here are some ways to connect effectively:

Be genuine. The only connections that work will be the ones that you truly care about; the world will see through anything short of that. If you don’t have a genuine interest in the person with whom you’re trying to connect with, then stop trying. As a leader, you must show that you are there to support someone’s goals and dreams. We don’t have to agree with their journey…you need to support it. It’s about them, not about you.
Provide massive help. Most people never reach out to anyone above their level. Did you know that everyone needs help or support in something? You have more to offer than you realize and those on your team want to learn from you. For women especially, it’s hard enough to ask for help. When someone does, pay attention to them and be interested in them.
Persistence is key. When you are looking to connect with someone, you can’t give up after one attempt. It’s the same with someone trying to get your attention. We are all busy and may not be able to jump when someone needs us. Sometimes a simple email or message letting them know when you are available will ease the situation. Communication is at an all-time high when they are trying to connect with you. Put yourself in their shoes…how would you want to be heard?
Make real connections. Think about how you’ve made the connections you have. That’s all this is. You only create relationships with people you genuinely want in your life. The same rule should apply with those reaching out to you. Don’t over-think it. Be human, be helpful and most humans will happily be human in return, regardless of who they are or what position they hold.
Remain unforgettable, in other words, find ways to stand out. Remember birthdays or important events happening in your team. Give them your favorite book signed. Be genuinely helpful. You’d be surprised how the simplest things actually never get done. Being memorable isn’t as hard as some think! Be the leader or mentor that you wish you had. Imagine what that would feel like for someone else.

Here is something to ponder… Think about a situation in which you experienced difficulty in communicating effectively with another person. If you had the opportunity for a second chance, what would you do differently? Was it the message or was it the way it was communicated? As a leader you need to understand what the other person is saying-not necessarily agreeing with it. Check in to make sure you both understand what is said and what is heard…and especially what isn’t said.

As Steven Stowell said, “Great leaders find ways to connect with their people and help them fulfill their potential.”

Happy Selling!

Judy Hoberman http://www.sellinginaskirt.com

Your Most Powerful Tool Is Your Mind…

If you are old enough to remember floppy disks, syntax errors, bits and bytes and Dos, you will also remember thinking and wondering why you didn’t get every piece of information that you needed pouring out at your request. Unfortunately, we were reminded that what you put in, is what you get out. That is not any different with your mind. Your mind can be your best friend or your biggest critic. It depends on what you feed it every day. When you wake up in the morning do you think about everything you didn’t finish the day before or do you start the day feeling like you are excited about getting the day started?

Your brain is a pretty powerful tool that you have in your own, private toolbox. Whenever you think of something, whether it’s something you’ve done many times or something you are trying for the first time, your brain has a new path created for that particular thought. The more you repeat the thought, the stronger that path is, and your brain is helping to create the best path to make this thought repeatable and easy to remember. Sometimes those thoughts will be incredibly beneficial and other times…not so much. The not so much time can be that the new thought you are having is too difficult or too time consuming or just plain uncomfortable…even though the picture you have is exactly where you want to head. That’s called stepping outside of your comfort zone.

When you decide you want to make a change in your life (whether it be a physical change or a change in the way you think about something), there is a period of time that this is bound to feel uncomfortable because you are now needing to construct new neural pathways that support the desired change. Your brain doesn’t like this. It wants to take the path it already knows…also known as your comfort zone. But here’s the truth about that…once you step out, more than once, that will soon become your comfort zone so don’t fear the unknown…it will only be the unknown once.

Your mind is the most powerful tool you have at your disposal to create your life exactly how you want it to be. Some of us dream in vivid color, some of us write and others talk about it…our lives and what we want it to look like. When you describe it “as if” it was the present, it feels as if it is happening right now.

Some people think that dreaming big means you think too highly of yourself—that big dreams signal you are arrogant or perhaps directionless. But in truth, having big dreams means you are determined to live on purpose, are nurturing a vision, and are taking steps to make it happen.

Imagine how different your life would be if you actively pursued even a few of the dreams you had when you were little. Life was simpler than, and dreaming was something we all did and were not afraid to share. As we grow up, some of us abandon our dreams while others stop dreaming altogether.

It all comes back to your mindset. Allowing yourself to be inspired and encouraged by your dreams can prompt you to set goals and establish an implementable plan of action. If you believe you can accomplish those big dreams, why not go after them? Why settle for the small ones instead?

I can’t imagine a world without dreamers. Without them, we would not have the things we take for granted like cars, phones, lights, airplanes, computers, and the ability to connect globally.

Let’s think about how we can use our most powerful tool to create the life we want.

1. Fear should not be an ingredient in dreaming big. We had no problem as little girls dreaming huge dreams because nothing stopped us. As women in business, what is stopping us now? Set your goals and set your sites. Little girls with big dreams can become women with vision.

2. With your big dreams in front of you, make sure you identify the steps to get there. I always tell my clients to come up with a number (in terms of dollars, clients, applications, or whatever applies to them) they want to secure by a certain date. Then I tell them to work backward and break that number down into tiny little pieces to chart the steps to reach their goal. A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes a dream come true … and the cycle continues.

3. Track your progress. If you do not track your progress, how will you know when you have arrived? Make sure your starting point, goals, and milestones are clearly defined. No matter how often we hear, “Success is a journey, not a destination,” I had to learn this the hard way. As a solopreneur, I thought, “Why do I need to do this? It is just me. I know what I want, so I will just go for it. Well that turned out to be one of the costliest mistakes I’ve made in business. You don’t have to use an expensive program to track your progress. You could simply use a spreadsheet or piece of paper, but don’t forego this important step. I ultimately rectified the problem two long, hard years after launching my business.

4. Do not do it alone, and do not allow energy vampires suck you dry or feed you negativity. Surround yourself with people who believe in and support you. In addition to a coach or mentor, develop of network of colleagues who can be your accountability partners, just as you can be theirs. People can inspire you or drain you. Choose wisely.

5. Be open to failing. It is part of the process. When you dream big, you will have some hiccups. Brush off your bruised knees, pick yourself up, and continue on the path. The bigger the dream, the more steps you may need to take. Think of the forward and backward steps more of a cha-cha than obstacles. When you realize that failing does not make you a failure, you free yourself to try many different things.

Believe in yourself and dream big. As you consider the path to take, do not forget about the rest of your life, especially your family. Work hard, take action, and keep pushing through when things get tough. Focus on the things that only you can do and outsource the rest. Learn to say no, and most of all, dig in and stay committed.

Remember as Tony Gaskins said, “If you don’t build your dream, someone will hire you to help build theirs.”

Happy Selling!

Judy Hoberman http://www.sellinginaskirt.com

Working Remotely…Are You Prepared?

Other than 2 years of my career, I have always been an entrepreneur working from home. Yes, I’ve gone to an office, facilitated training in an office, recruited in an office and had team meetings in an office…but the majority of my time, was working from home. I don’t remember if anyone gave me a manual of what to expect, but I did notice pros and cons of working from home. In today’s environment, many people have had no time to prepare or even think about getting ready for change. You were in an office one day and the next, you’re remote.

I was thinking about how this new way of working will affect so many people and wanted to share some thoughts of my experiences with the hope that it may make this new journey easier and perhaps even have some fun with it.

Mark your territory. This is easy if you have an empty room or spare bedroom. In many cases, you will need to adopt some space and call it your own. When we started in the insurance world, so many grabbed the kitchen or dining room table and decided this was their new office. Kind of reminds me of those that declare their table at the coffee shop as their own. I was once asked to move from a certain table in a certain coffee shop because this man said it was “his” …I didn’t see a nameplate but I knew it made him comfortable, so I moved to another table.

If you are in a place that others will be using, you will need to make sure that your “office” can be moved to another area during family and mealtimes. If you are in an industry where there is any confidential and personal information, make sure that is not out in the open for anyone to see. My kids were always part of my business. While I did have an office in my home, Saturday nights you would find the three of us sitting on my bed doing direct mail pieces together. They knew that they were a part of my business and were proud to see the results.

Do Not Disturb-Again, not always the easiest to accomplish. If your family, spouse or roommate is home while you are working, remind them that you are doing just that…working. It’s not the time to chat or have conversations about solving the problems of the world. You wouldn’t do that if you were in an office, so why now? We had an agent who was a single dad with small children. Many of you will remember that as soon as you picked up the phone, real phones not smart phones, it was an invitation to start an argument, have a burning question or just need your undivided attention at that moment. There is nothing more “professional” than being on the phone with a client when your children picked up the phone in another room yelling “Daddy, daddy, daddy.” While some clients understood…others did not. This agent came up with a brilliant idea. He had a ball cap. When it was on, he was working. When it was off, he was daddy. Other than an emergency (in the insurance world that meant blood or bones), his little ones were quiet and whispered to each other. It was a simple and effective way to work.

Give Me A Break-Do you take breaks when you are in the office? Then why not at home? Many times, it’s hard to get started and then, it’s hard to stop. When you work from home, you either become the King or Queen workaholic or the Guru or Maven of taking breaks. Think of something in the middle. When you are working, you should be working, not getting prepared to possibly start at some later point in the last hour of the day. Ok so that’s a bit of an exaggeration but you need to prepare yourself to work and to stop. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the Pomodoro Technique. The technique uses a timer to break down work into intervals, traditionally 25 minutes in length, separated by short breaks. It is a time management system that encourages people to work with the time they have—rather than against it. Work 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes. You must work in those 25 minutes and walk away from it for 5 minutes. Imagine how productive you can be.

Can You Just…-While you are working from home, if there is anyone else that lives with you, you will certainly hear something like “While you are home, can you just start dinner, do the laundry, call the repair person, run to the store etc.” Remember, you are working, so your mindset needs to be that you are working. It’s always nice to lend a helping hand…after you’re done working. If there are no humans living with you, unless you’re on your 5-minute break or having lunch, your furry friend will need to stay put and not learn a new frisbee trick.

Let’s Do Lunch-Even though you are not in an office, you need to take a lunch break. Yes, this is the time to do those non-working tasks. It’s also the time to walk away from your work, have something nutritious, delicious and yummy to break up the day. Once in awhile you might have a virtual working lunch, but really try to claim this time for yourself.

While working from home will take a little getting used to, also be aware that it can feel a bit lonely. Rest assured there are many others feeling the same way. With technology, you can have a meeting with your office mates, “see” your clients and create educational sessions to share your brilliance.

Things change quicker than you can imagine. If you don’t change, you will be left behind. Old ways won’t open new doors. Change is inevitable…Growth is optional. Will you shine or will you let your light dim?

If you need a pep talk, an ear to listen or an accountability chat, reach out. I’m here to listen, support and encourage.

Happy Selling!

Judy Hoberman http://www.sellinginaskirt.com

Step Up Men – Don’t Hide Behind the #MeToo “movement”. We Must Champion Women!

Have you heard this, or something like this — “I am not going to take a chance and support or mentor women in the workplace, because you never know, she could come back years later and accuse me of sexual harassment and there goes my career!”

Are you kidding me? This is one of the most backwards statements I have ever heard of!

What Is #MeToo and Does that Impact Me as Male Leader?

So what is#MeToo? I boil it down to an upward swell of women AND men who are done with being sexually harassed and abused …especially in the workplace. (Yes, men too. It has been noted that 1 in 6 men have experienced sexual abuse) #MeToo has brought this abusive behavior to the front of people’s minds and is putting the world on notice that this is not acceptable, in any situation, in any form.

So will this impact you? Yes, the world is a-changin! If you are a man that likes to leverage power and sex to control people, you are now on notice – this will absolutely impact your ability to successfully manage. (Notice I did not say “lead,” because a true LEADER would not use control or limit actions by means of abusive power.)

Be Professional…be respectful!

“But, I am Concerned that I Will Be Unfairly or Wrongly Accused”

I hear this talk from men in many circles. Did you know that there have been studies in the US, UK, and in Europe that of the accusations, only about 2% to 6%, are deemed false? Additionally, there are asterisks and caveats that point out some reports may have been mis-categorized as false when there may not be enough legal evidence to prosecute.

The best approach, be professional, don’t put yourself in a situation that could be misconstrued. Keep your physical contact to a handshake. (I know for those of us living and working in cultures that accept hugs or kisses as appropriate, this advice may be difficult) When having a 1:1 conversation, don’t lock the door or if you are able, keep the door open.

My mother has always told me – “when you wonder about the right way to act, just ask ‘would I approve of what you are saying or doing?'” I constantly ask myself – “is this ok if I were in front of my wife or daughter?”

Be Professional…be respectful!

Women Need Men as Supporters and Sponsors in the Work Place

Let’s face the facts – it is true there are more men than women in leadership positions. This is why it is an imperative that Men MUST be the Champions in leveling the playing field. We need to instill and foster a culture where women feel comfortable having men as mentors and coaches.

Did you know that it is a proven fact that companies led by women are more profitable and tend to grow faster with more sustainability. Hey, as a stock holder or investor – that’s what I want….MORE PROFIT and higher sustainability!!

Over the past 50 years, we have made great strides to reduce the inequity; in society and in the workplace. If we are not careful, this type of ignorant thinking will set all of this advancement back in time. We all need to work together to keep the momentum.

Why Do I Care About Championing Women?

You may ask what is my motivation? It’s pure and simple, I have two daughters, six nieces, and two granddaughters. I am fortunate to be married to one of the most intelligent, professional women I have ever met.

I want to help build a culture that treats them with Professionally and with Respect,afforded the same opportunities that that are afforded me, my son, nephew, and grandson.

Bottomline men – don’t use the #MeToo movement an easy excuse to not do the hard things. Think about your wife, your daughter or granddaughter and I guarantee you too will want to Champion Women! Do not be afraid to be a mentor, coach, or sponsor to a talented up-and-coming leader.

Step Up Men!

#womeninleadership #menwhochampionwomen #walkingontheglassfloor

Jim Steinmark

Coach, Mentor or Sponsor – Which Do You Need?

You probably hear about people having an executive coach or a mentor. A term you may not be as familiar with is a sponsor. Are these different terms for the same thing or do they really serve different purposes? The answer is they are definitely different, and are all important for your career growth. Let me break it down for you.

Coach – This is a formal arrangement initiated by an individual or organization. The goal is to help you improve certain skills or handle specific areas of development. Working with a coach usually follows some type of a structured process that may involve using assessments to gauge skill level and/or collecting feedback from those you work for, with, or who report to you. The coaching relationship usually has a finite duration. At some point your goals will be achieved and the coaching contract will end.

Mentor – A mentor/mentee relationship is usually, but not always informal. Many large organizations have formal mentoring programs. When informal, the relationship may start by identifying someone you admire or want advice from, such as learning how to navigate your organization or grow your career. While a coach helps you with specific skills, a mentor may be a sounding board when confronted with situations you’re encountering for the first time, help you identify and build on your strengths, or talk with about career options. Some mentoring relationships last a lifetime while others eventually run their course. The agenda for informal mentoring is set by the individual rather than the mentor or organization.

Sponsor – A sponsor is someone at a senior level in your organization who advocates for you when you are being considered for a promotion or special project. You don’t choose a sponsor, they choose you; usually by being in a position to see your work and recognize your talent and potential. If you have a mentor who also has an executive position in your company, they may, over time turn into a sponsor.

So which do you need to maximize your carer development? All of them. At some point in your career, each of these roles can help you improve your performance, get promoted or grow your career. So take the initiative and ask for or find a coach, engage a mentor, and grow relationships with senior leaders to cultivate a sponsor.

Alexis Gladstone

The Keys To Confidence?

Recently I have been speaking to companies, corporations, Associations and individuals about a topic that had not been one that we would publicly speak about. No it’s not sex, drugs, religion or any of the taboo topics. It’s one that until now, many of us hid…and did it quite well. The topic is CONFIDENCE and it’s something that many of us struggle with… and many more of us deny we have trouble with.

This morning I was glancing through a magazine that caught my eye. In the middle of the cover was an article called “The Keys To Confidence”…you can bet I started to thumb through it and hopefully find even more data for this new awareness of this old struggle. I was completely disappointed as the entire magazine was about losing weight, plastic surgery, dental procedures, eye lifting, butt enhancing and the list goes on. Where will I kind the Keys to Confidence in any of these featured stories and ads? Perhaps it should be called “Where Did I Lose My Keys To Confidence” instead.

What are we doing to ourselves, our daughters, our granddaughters? What about our husbands and sons and grandsons? This issue of the magazine was about gifts to give for the holidays. If your husband came home with a gift certificate for weight loss, I would bet you could release 180 pounds or so by tossing him out the door? All kidding aside, we are not creating happiness or joy or gratitude or confidence or loving ourselves when we read these magazines. As we get older should we hide the fact that we have lived decades and have the amazing life changes in our faces and bodies to prove it? The children you brought in to the world, the bonus children you inherited by choice, the places you’ve visited, the lives you’ve changed…certainly that accounts for something…doesn’t it?

Today I am without internet service. Who knows why and who knows when it will return. Instead of pouting and doing nothing, I decided to pick up some of the magazines I had put in a pile to read and pull out articles that I could use about programs I want to write and add to. I guess this magazine was not the right one to start with except it gave me a reason to write a blog post.

It’s time to be kind again. Kind to each other, kind to strangers, kind to those that need our help, kind to our friends, kind to our family but most of all…kind to ourselves. Confidence doesn’t mean photo shopping ourselves to look like a model. It doesn’t mean we look beautiful only after we have plastic surgery or lose weight. It means we look in the mirror and love who is looking back. Susan Sarandon said it best, “I look forward to being older, when what you look like becomes less and less and issue and what you are is the point.”

Go ahead, take a good long look. I don’t know about you but the person you are seeing has the “Keys To Confidence” that you are looking for.

How High Are Your Standards?

I always have interesting conversations and incredible people watching episodes when I’m at the airport. I listen and observe, I engage and I observe some more. At one airport, I was waiting for a flight and we were delayed so many times that it was almost a game to see when the app and the actual board in front of us would match as to the newest departure time. There was a woman standing next to me. She was well-dressed and was friendly enough. We were sharing some travel stories and then we got to “what do you do?” I told her I was an Executive Coach, a speaker, trainer, radio show host and author. She asked who I worked with and I gave her that information. I of course turned the conversation to her and asked what she did. She worked for a large organization and had been there for many years… “After all, why should I leave? I get paid, don’t have to do too much and I get to do some traveling.” The conversation went on for a bit and she mentioned that she had never had a coach but her boss swears by them. Of course I needed to probe a little more and she told me, without any hesitation, she had never and would NEVER hire a coach because she would be expected to work more and harder and that is not what she wants to do. It started me thinking about standards and how as entrepreneurs we need to set the bar higher than we can even imagine. People will choose to work with you if what you are offering them is the best quality or service to solve their problem.

The truth is most people don’t like high standards because they create a lot of work – especially the kind of work that nobody likes in the first place. In the real world, getting from good to great requires extraordinary efforts and high standards. It demands more time than you want, more energy than you have, and more cooperation than any normal person can be expected to contribute.

That’s IF you want high standards. If you are willing to settle for “good,” things can be much easier – and you can be much nicer. How about if we talk about standards…for instance what are they anyway?

Your standards define how you act, which, in turn, builds trust in your brand. They can be guidelines that describe your quality, your performance, your style or your systems. Standards must align with your mission, business objectives, and leadership, and be implemented consistently.

What about our own personal standards? Are they written on a wall for all to see? Not necessarily, but think about this; personal standards are what separates the highest achievers from everyone else. Personal standards are nothing more than a set of behaviors. These behaviors are built upon expectations you have of yourself in a variety of situations. Your personal standards are reflected in how you treat yourself, and also in how you treat other people. They are also reflected in how you expect to be treated by other people. When you have high standards you expect to be treated with the highest of regard. However, when your standards are low it suggests that you are lacking in the self-esteem department. Remember though, no matter who your customer is, you shouldn’t change your standards to meet theirs.

Your personal standards are also reflected in the promises you keep, the way you show up, and are reflected in the quality of your work, values and communication. In fact, everything you do and say gives others an indication of the personal standards you live by. As women, we might have to work a little harder and set the bar a little higher to be treated on an equal playing field, and that’s ok. It’s just a little extra stretch…and we’re used to that.

Luckily, if you turn to entrepreneurship as a way to fulfil your potentials and meet your standards as well, there are so many valuable resources to learn from. No longer do we need to learn everything through trial and error! And that feeling that you’re not alone in your striving, that helps. Just recently I’ve interviewed Stefan Pretty, an interesting Scottish entrepreneur who created Subbly, a management software for subscription businesses. But what really inspired me is the way he shows a step-by-step approach (that’s what I love about it…plus it’s easy to follow) on how to start a subscription box, making that start line (which is often the most difficult one) as straightforward as possible. And once you actually start something, it becomes easier to continue evolving and also, raise the standards when you realize that goals were more achievable then you thought!

Speaking of which…Do you have goals that you would like to achieve? Have you ever considered that in order to achieve these goals that you must first raise your personal standards in certain aspects of your life? Setting low standards will only take you so far along your journey towards your goal. With low standards you will simply not put enough work, time, energy or resources into this goal. You will not be able to give this goal what it requires, and therefore you will end up not getting the results you truly want.

When you set high standards you immediately raise your expectations of what’s possible. You suddenly expect more from yourself, more from your actions, and more from others. And with a higher set of expectations you are willing to do more to get the results you’re after, and your performance level shoots straight up.

As Tony Robbins said, “Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards.”

Don’t be like my airport buddy thinking that having a coach means others will expect more from you and that is a negative thing…after all, what is wrong with that?

The Value Of Coaching

When I started my company in 2009, one of the first things I did was to understand what I didn’t know how to do. I loved people, I could sell, I wanted to make a difference and always wanted to bring value. All sounds great so far right? What I didn’t really know how to do was to create a company or a business that would support me in loving people, selling, making a difference and bringing value.

So the first step was knowing what I needed and then realizing I didn’t know what I didn’t know and that is where my business coach came in. She sat me down and asked me a lot of questions, listened to my goals or dreams and together we worked together to put that in place. Again, sounds great so far right? Here’s the REAL truth. You have to know how to listen to your coach. They have the experience and expertise. If you had an athletic coach who told you to hit the ball or kick the ball or catch the ball or whatever with the ball and you thought you knew better, where do you think that would end up? Ok not much different with a business coach.

Everything she told me to do made perfect sense, however, I already knew that, already tried that and was already to dismiss that. Let me just say that if you asked me what type of person I don’t ever want to coach…it would be the ones that say I’ve done that already, I’ve tried that already and the rest of that nonsense. During one of my sessions, it was decided that I would write a book. It wasn’t necessarily my decision as it was never on my radar, but my coach suggested that since I had 30 years of “stuff” in my head, why not organize it and share it with others. I finally agreed and she told me to have an outline, not the book itself, just an outline completed by a certain date. I sheepishly agreed and didn’t really give it another thought. Remember, I knew better…The date came and we were having a session and towards the end she asked me to show her the outline. It was not completed or really, it was not even started. She was less than happy but very professional. She didn’t say what she probably wanted to say but she did say this… “Let’s get in the car and drive for a few minutes. Then let’s open the windows and throw all your money out, roll up the windows and leave.” I thought she had lost her mind and then she finished with “Why are you paying me all this money when you don’t do any of the work? How will your business ever get off the ground? How will people know who you are? How will you ever make a difference or bring value?” That was the day I realized how important a coach really is.

The truth is that coaching helps people focus on the things that are contributing to their being stuck, and then move beyond them. I knew I was stuck in a place that I didn’t recognize and I needed someone who knew better than I did and who was totally objective to move me along. Harvey Mackay said, “Athletes and actors have long hired coaches to help prepare for a specific competition or role. But they aren’t the only ones who can benefit from expert advice. Coaches are available to help people in any field improve their “game.” You see will all need to improve our game…no matter what field that is in.

There are so many reasons to have a coach for your business. Ever think about what qualities you should look for? I put together a Slide Share about this topic. Here are the highlights and you can go to slideshare.net- 15 Qualities You Should Look For In A Business Coach. You can check it out at https://www.slideshare.net/JHoberman/15-qualities-you-should-look-for-in-a-business-coach. The highlights are below:

FRIENDSHIP Builds a Mutual Relationship based on mutual respect. Look for someone who uses respectful dialogue. This could turn into a life-long friendship. Even though this begins as a business relationship, in order to be truly effective, it generally goes beyond that phase because the coach learns as much from the client as the client learns from the coach.
TRUST Not everyone in today’s society has a trusted advisor they can count on. Many people have ulterior motives when they are asked to help someone else. A great coach is someone you can trust and has true interest in your success and reaching your self-declared goals.
LISTEN A great coach really understands good listening is often taken for granted. The very best conversations and relationships involve our intentional listening- listening to learn, with a clear and quiet mind, not just waiting for our turn to speak. Listening is a great coach’s gift to their client!
INSPIRE A great coach helps create a vision and helps describe it. They will understand your passion and continues to inspire you by reminding you of your original passion and purpose.
EXPERIENCE A great coach should have years of experience and speaks your language. Their experience should not only bring an understanding in business, but more importantly, experience with people.
GOALS Many times goals are set too low requiring minimal effort to reach them, or too high where it becomes unrealistic to reach them. A great coach helps you set realistic goals that are achievable but requires effort to reach them.
MOTIVATION What drives you? What are you looking to achieve? It’s easy to be derailed when your goals aren’t reached quickly enough. A great coach defines your goals and breaks them down into small steps so that you can see successes along the way.
ORGANIZED A great coach provides organization & simplification. They help order thoughts and gives a formula for success and help develop a process to achieve whatever you want to accomplish. A great coach customizes the process to align with your needs.
CHALLENGE A great coach identifies challenges. Including ones that you may not even see which can prepare you for a smoother outcome. Remember, you don’t know what you don’t know!
PATH A great coach develops solutions. They help develop a path out of the challenges at hand. A road map that runs interference and provides a clear path to achieve your vision.
EXPECTATIONS A great coach is someone who helps guide expectations. They help you to understand your own expectations which tend to be influenced many times with over optimism. Reasonable expectations with early successes, victories and important milestones reached will take away the discouragement many find while navigating a difficult path.
GROWTH A great coach ensures your growth by challenging you. They move you out of your comfort zone with necessary steps and actions to achieve your goals and create scenarios and opportunities for you to be well rounded.
MEASURE A great coach evaluates your performance. They develop a process that measures your performance. Constantly evaluating your performance with real time feedback gives you the opportunity to learn and trains you to solve your own challenges with a set of effective tools.
ACCOUNTABLE A great coach is an accountability partner. For your self-declared goals, a coach will provide constructive feedback so that you can achieve what you set out to do. You are less likely to hold yourself fully accountable if you don’t share your goals with someone that is a trusted and objective partner.
SUPPORT A great coach is supportive. They are always there for support even when there may not be anyone else that can see, believes in, or supports your vision.

Remember, Coaching is the universal language of change and learning.

Business Or Expensive Hobby

Here’s the scenario…you decide you have something that will solve a solution for others. You’ve researched the market through surveys, focus groups and lots of connections. This is what you’ve been put here to do and so now you do as Nike as reminded you for decades and you “Just Do It” and voila you have a business…or do you? So-Is it a business or a hobby?

Let’s think about this…like almost anything else, the beginning of something can dictate how it will be in the future. If you’re in a relationship and the beginning is not good, you might be given a bird’s eye view of what it will be going forward. If you have a client that is less than desirable, you will probably see what that relationship will be for you. The truth is that this phase of your business SHOULD be the most exciting on one hand because rest assured, on the other hand it can also be the one that will try your patience at every turn. There will be people, even those closest to you, that will tell you that you are crazy for doing this while others have no idea how you can be so courageous. You’ll have times that you look at something that you’ve created or written and smile and know that is exactly what you were aiming for and then…you have to scrap it because it really isn’t solving a problem…only one that you are creating. And then there are those times when you are ready to just throw your hands up because this is NOT what you bargained for. So using my first thought, if the beginning isn’t good, should you just move along? To this I say No!

We’ve heard that if you have passion and heart that you can start your own business and be successful; you know “Do what you love and the money will follow”…unfortunately business doesn’t really follow that. What you want to determine is if you have a business or really only have an expensive hobby. You’re an incredible baker, but is that passion and skill enough for the million-dollar business you have in your head? Right look at Debbie Fields…the truth is she had a lot more than just a great cookie.

Here are some questions you need to ask yourself before you jump into the world of entrepreneurship that might give you a chance to succeed instead of hitting head first into a wall…and by the way, these were the questions that I asked myself:

What do I do?
How do I do it?
What will bring in revenue?
How do I decide what I want to be when I grow up?

My self-doubt was at an all-time high. In my case, I found a business coach who helped lead me on the right and best path. I made so many mistakes that most of us make and made so many that I even wrote a book about it “Famous Isn’t Enough: Earning Your Fortune As An Entrepreneur” I believed if I could save another excited entrepreneur some time and money, that would be perfect. Of course some of you will make the same mistakes or detours that I’ve made and that’s ok because sometimes you have to experience something yourself to truly understand. Just make sure you learn the lesson so you can share your wisdom with other budding entrepreneurs down the road.

The sad reality is that nine out of ten startups will fail. While this sounds like the end is near, if you work hard, stay focused and listen to those that have been there done that, your chances of success are greater

For those of you that would like some steps to take to be in the 10% success group rather than the 90% that aren’t, here you go:

Do Your Research-While your mom and BFF will be true supporters of your newest venture, it’s probably better to do some of your own research. You can do this in person, via surveys or on social media. Make sure you do a wide enough circle of people so that you get true readings.
Build Your Audience First-Ok you’re off…but there is no one there to receive what you are offering. If you are doing a launch and only 3 people show up, you will be frustrated but you will also realize how important it is to build your audience first. Start sharing content that is directly related to what you will be offering and make sure it is valuable and exciting. Don’t believe what some say that you should hold your best information and content for paying clients. How and why would people want to work with you if the only thing you are sharing is fluff? When you share and give right from the beginning you are letting others know that is your M.O. and to stay tuned for more of where that came from.
Never Stop Learning-We all want to be known as the thought leaders in our circles. However, even if you own that title, you should always continue in the learning process. Reach out to those that are in your space or way beyond your space and ask…If you never ask the answer is always no. Also always remember not to hoard your experience and expertise. Remember those budding entrepreneurs that are ready to learn? Share with them. You too should be one of those because if you are the smartest in the room, you are in the wrong room.
Don’t Be Afraid Of Technology-there are so many tools out there that can shorten your learning curve or enhance your offerings. If you are not tech-savvy, find someone who is. Maybe there is something you can barter that they need until you can both share financially. But, if that isn’t the case, technology challenges can cause you to be behind the 8-ball so find a way to stay as current as possible. There are so many tools that are free to use…and I bet that YouTube has a tutorial on that. When you are ready to add to your team, someone with strengths in technology would be one of the first to add.
Think About Revenue From The Beginning-Some entrepreneurs are lucky enough to have investors that will help finance their businesses. Most of us are not that fortunate. Either way, have to think about “Show Me The Money” from the beginning. What is your cash flow? How will you pay your bills without dipping into your personal funds? You want your business to grow and like it or not, money is part of that. Be part of the 10% not the 90% of businesses that succeed.

Michael Dell said, “Ideas are a commodity. Execution of them is not.”