I would bet many of you have watch or were addicted to the Seinfeld show. It was truly based on nothing and yet it was so relevant. One of my favorite things that the cast did was say one word in an assortment of ways. For instance seriously. It could be seriously? As in a question or seriously as in a statement or a dozen other ways to say it all have different meanings. There is another one of those words that has so many different meanings, depending on how you say it or where it fits into a sentence. The word is ENOUGH…are you enough? I’ve had enough, enough already and so one. This one word plays a big role in our lives and sometimes it takes us back to the song “Enough Is Enough”…
So what does enough signify? One way to look at it is that it means no more will be tolerated. Another is being adequate – as much or as good as necessary for some requirement or purpose; fully sufficient, suitable, or fit. Or still another is used to express an impatient desire for the cessation of undesirable behavior or speech.
Let’s see what this all looks like. In business we find many women that are tired of working in an environment that either doesn’t match their values or doesn’t really want her opinion or expertise. She goes to work each day and puts on that professional smile and does her job. One day she goes in and something happens. It doesn’t have to be anything major but she says “ENOUGH…I’m done and out of here. What does she do?
First, go with the feeling but try and tone down the anger. You’ve been bubbling up for a while and now it’s your turn to do something for you.
Then quit worrying about what others may be thinking of you – this is YOUR life. You may have created this scenario in your head a hundred times so keep going and use your frustration to remind you of the great things ahead of you.
Next remember why you are doing what you’re doing. The constant internal battle you’ve had for months is just not worth it. You know it won’t be easy, but you know it will be worth it.
In reality, this is exactly what happened to me. I believe I had a cameo role in the “Mean Girls” movie, every single day. I had a plan in my head of what I was going to say to the President and every single day, there wasn’t the right time to say anything. Until that one day, when I didn’t expect it and he walked up to me and said “You wanted to talk to me”…I wasn’t sure what I was going to say, what anyone was going to think of me or what I was really going to do next. I just knew I had had enough and I blurted out I’m leaving and the rest is history.
How about enough of a relationship? That is also, unfortunately, very common. You are with someone, you think it’s going ok, you tolerate behavior that you probably shouldn’t or there is behavior that you aren’t aware of and BOOM it happens… “I’ve had enough” and before you know it, you are no longer together and trying to pick up the pieces. People think you’re crazy because he’s attractive or takes care of you financially or he’s intelligent. How can you just give up?
The truth is, it’s ok to give up. Sometimes you have to give up in order to allow new things to happen and start over. What may be waiting for you can be the most amazing thing or person, but you won’t know it if you don’t give up. Giving up has always been in the negative mind set but in reality, it doesn’t mean that you are weak. It means you are strong and smart and you can’t possibly move forward with an anchor around your neck. Chances on this person you are done with has been a repeat offender so why do you feel you owe your time to someone who will definitely do this over and over again? Sometimes the best thing for you is also the hardest…walking away.
Then there is also knowing when you’ve done enough and need to end a business. Here is this dream that you created…your baby. Try as you might, it isn’t working or working enough for you. Burn-out is showing up and you don’t know what to do. Here are some signs that burn-out is getting too close for comfort:
- You don’t feel creative
- Your customers are annoying you
- You’re not motivated
- You don’t see your dream in front of you any longer
- You don’t like talking about your business with anyone
There is also having enough. How do you know when you have enough? That answer is different for everyone. Is it money or investments or real estate or cars or…well you can fill in the blank. When trying to determine if you have enough, ask yourself these two questions: How much money buys happiness? If you’ve already won the game, why are you still playing? Interesting isn’t it?
Finally my all-time favorite and one that most women will agree with… “Am I Enough?” That can be young enough, old enough, pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, tall enough, short enough, famous enough or almost any description you want to put in there. When did this happen that we question ourselves? When do you outgrow it? It probably began when we were toddlers when we weren’t big enough to hold our own spoon or we weren’t tall enough to go on a ride…as simple and as harmless as that was…well we’ve created our own monsters in the form of self-doubt. Those voices in our head that reminds us that we are not enough are sometimes too loud to overlook. But here are a few ideas to remind you that you are not only enough, you are more than enough. ~What have you done today that you can celebrate? No matter how silly or little it is, celebrate. I go back to when I had my first child and I was going to be the best mom in the world. My house was going to be spotless, my daughter dressed in the cutest outfits and I would be put together like all the moms on TV. Well…that lasted a day or so. My house was clean but not spotless, my daughter cute but in her onesie and me…well my hair was in a pony-tail and I was fortunate if my shirt was clean. But my daughter was hugged and loved and healthy…understand?
~Who are you comparing yourself to and more importantly why? I would look around and think why aren’t I as put together as she was or why didn’t I have all the newest gadgets around and why wasn’t I as smart or whatever I was feeling at the moment. Well guess what? I’m not them and they are not me. I started to realize that I was pretty awesome and I didn’t need to be someone I’m not.
~Get rid of the-if and then. We need to get rid of that because there is no if and then when you love yourself. In order to know you are enough, you have to believe it and that means no conditions. If only I could lose those last 5 pounds then I would look great. Really? I think I looked really great and if I never lost the 5 pounds, I would still look great and if I did, I would still look great. Having conditions is the invitation to allowing “enough” into your head.
Remember, there is a difference between giving up, and knowing when you have had enough. Perhaps when you thought you weren’t good enough the truth was that you were overqualified…
Judy Hoberman www.sellinginaskirt.com